I had a conversation with my boss one day. He informed me that he gets out of bed at 7 am, leaves the house by 7:10 am and arrives at the office by 7:30 am. I looked at him like he was an alien. His morning routine takes him 10 minutes. S**t, Shower & Shave. That's it.
I then reflected on my morning routine and realised this was so unfair from every possible angle. My morning routine is akin to a small scale military operation:
- Remove eye makeup if I failed to do so night before due to being too exhausted and just falling into bed
- Shower: wash hair, wash face, scrub face, wash body, pumice feet, pumice hands, pumice elbows
- Moisturise: Body, feet, hands, extra care given to dry patches, talc powder
- Makeup: Tone face, moisturise face & eyes, base makeup; concealer, blush, eye shadow, eye brows, eye liner, mascara, lipstick, remove mistakes and start again
- Hair: Detangler, comb, volumising mousse, blow dry, curl, up in the right places and down in the wrong places, hairspray, allow time for tears/tantrums/starting over if bad hair day
- Dress: don't get me started on the whole panty hose/tights rant, find shoes, change clothes at least once
- Finishing touches: Perfume, earrings, necklace, bracelet, scarf, shoes, socks
This really got me thinking about the cost of all this versus the cost for a man. I bet I spend over £100/month on all this and Oprah still accuses me of letting myself go on the days I don't have to go to work.