Disgusted with Charity

The earthquake in Nepal has hit me hard.  I can't watch the television or read the newspapers without ending up in floods of tears.  I feel so utterly helpless.

These people have so little and we have so much and then the earth literally moves under their feet and what little they have is taken away from them.  They have lost their friends, families, homes, jobs, everything in just a few minutes.  They are sleeping in the open.  They are living in constant fear and they are grieving.

Charities race into action.  My television, my email, my phone is flooded for requests for donations.  They all want money.  Money. Money. Money.  I get told that it is easier and cheaper to source goods locally than to transport second hand goods.  I get told they don't have warehouses and sorting centres.  I get told it's too hard for them to take goods to disaster zones.  I'm told to donate the goods to the local charity shop who will sell them for MONEY.  I'm told that transportation costs are too high (and yet flights are still arriving in Nepal).

I find this disgusting for so many reasons.

1. Not everyone has money to give but everyone has the capacity to give something.
2. A charity which aims to help people in need are unwilling to tackle the difficulties involved.
3. When offered donated goods, charities turn their noses up.

Yesterday I collected bag after bag of badly needed supplies to help the people in Nepal in just a few hours.  People like me who didn't have money to give, or maybe had already given money as well, took it upon themselves to give their belongings.  We received things badly needed in Nepal like sleeping bags, tents, blankets, coats, shoes, hats, scarves, children's clothing, kitchen utensils, dry food.  I was so touched by people's generosity that I found myself on the verge of tears all day.

We have another collection scheduled for today.  But now I'm not sure what I am going to do with the goods.

Originally, these goods were destined for a British Army collection in Aldershot but the outpouring of generosity meant that these containers filled up very quickly and by mid morning they were full.

My car is full of these goods because as of this morning I have no where to take them.  The British Red Cross initially agreed to the transportation and distribution of the goods.  What they were really agreeing to was for me to drop these things off at one of their shops so they could resell it. 

I've spoken to DEC only to find that all they want is MONEY.

Global Hands can't help me because I'm not an official organisation.

Age UK, Oxfam, British Red Cross, and the lot only want my goods for resale in their charity shops.

I am trying to contact the Ghurka division of the British Army to see if they are interested.

NEWS BULLETIN:  No one in the UK needs a second hand wooden spoon.  Thousands in Nepal need wooden spoons to stir their meagre rice being cooked over an open flame in the outdoor in a crowded tent camp.

I have been in contact with the Nepal Youth Foundation who help thousands of children in Nepal.  They are desperate for our goods.

I was warned this might be difficult.  When we first communicated our desire to collect goods, there were a couple people who warned us not to do it.  We dismissed those naysayers because it was the right thing to do.  I still think what we are doing is the right thing to do.

But I need your help.  If anyone out there knows how we can get these items to Nepal, please contact me urgently.

Generosity

An amazing gift in a much needed time.

Economics

I didn't do well in economics. I took both micro and macro economics in university and barely managed a B. The only good thing about macro economics was this really fit boy who always sat a few rows in front of me. He had the most gorgeous hair in the world. After one disastrous date with him though I realised the only thing good about his head was his hair. Everything in between was empty space. There was nothing good about micro economics.

But I think he did better in economics than I did. The trouble was it was all theory and the theory always got proved wrong. Or so it all seemed to me. I thought saving was good and spending was bad. Economics seemed to be saying this was not necessarily so. Which may be what has gotten us into all this trouble.

The recent financial crisis rumbling throughout the world is bringing back seriously bad memories for me. it makes me wish I had done better or tried harder.

I've just recently happened upon the Economix blog from the NY Times which tries to make sense of all that theory and how it relates to what is currently happening in the financial markets and how that relates to you and me who are just trying to make ends meet. Give it a read. Let me know if it makes any sense to you.

Spending Money

This is an informative interactive graphic (courtesy of The New York Times) about how people spend their discretionary income around the world. Check out the different headings (electronics and household goods are a bit of a shocker) and roll the mouse of the boxes to see the precise amounts and names of countries.

Immensely Interesting

Read This!

Economic Hardship

I've waited a long time to write this post. I wanted to wait until my blood stopped boiling from another post I read written by someone else some place else. You know who you are.


I waited because I didn't want to be overly emotional but I reckon that even after waiting this long that is going to be hard to do.


Sure there are people out there who live beyond their financial means and use their credit cards when they should be using cash. They buy houses they can't afford and Starbucks every morning instead of their utilities every month. They overindulge their children with expensive toys never teaching those children the value of money. These people are irresponsible and should suffer the consequences of their bad decisions.


These are not the vast majority of people suffering from the current economic landscape.

The people suffering are those who have managed their money carefully making sure to put away a little bit each month into their emergency fund for a rainy day and a little bit more towards their retirement fund. But the fact that wholesale gas prices have risen from $25/barrel to over $120 in just 5 years has meant that you have to make a decision to pay either the gas or the electricity because you simply can't afford both. The same price increase has meant that people can't afford to fill up their cars with fuel to get to work. and don't give me that nonsense about go buy a car that gets better gas mileage. If they had the money to buy a new car they'd pay their gas and electricity. and the increase of food prices at the grocery store have risen by over 7% in 6 months have meant that their food bill has gone up so dramatically they no longer have money for retirement or rainy days. They struggle to pay a mortgage on a home they've paid for 10 years due to the misguided attempt to control inflation with interest rate manipulation.

You can live in your big cushy house with your big salary smiling that smug smile whilst you look down on those who have less than you warm with the feeling that you currently reside at the top of the economic pyramid. I hope that you never lose your job particularly as you get older and the younger generation proves your ideas old fashioned, skills obsolete and your experience irrelevant. I hope your family is blessed with good health and no one close to you is critically injured or diagnosed with a terminal illness not covered by your medical insurance or for which there is no cure. Heaven forbid you even find yourself in the middle of the pyramid because the path from the middle to the bottom appears to be getting shorter every day.

In the meantime I am looking for pennies in the sofa.

Wealth

A fabulous article for those of you who want to be millionaires (and who doesn't?).

Editors Note: Thanks Clare Bear!

Oprah Extravagance

I am normally a big fan of everything Oprah. But today watching her show I nearly threw my shoe through the television.

Her guest was Colin Cowie, party planner extraordinaire. They featured some of the parties and specifically some of the weddings he has put together. It was extravagance and over-indulgence over the top.

Wedding guests were given miniature wedding cakes in little boxes. The flowers alone must have cost tens of thousands of dollars. People feel enormous pressure to put on weddings bigger and better than the last one they went to. I know people who put off getting married just so they can save money to have the big princess wedding. Not a good reason!

I am reminded of the wedding photographs of both sets of my grandparents. Neither of my grandmothers had wedding dresses of the white meringue fluff type. They both wore pretty suits and carried a sensible bouquet. I even remember my grandmother telling me that they got married in the morning so the men could work the fields in the afternoon.

Mr Cowie then gave us a tour of his home. Shiny surfaces and organisation abounded. His dishes were colour coded. His white dishes were perfectly organised. And he had a whole other room for his coloured dishes and glasses. I saw no cupboard that contained plastic Tupperware dishes or children's sippy cups. Sorry, Oprah, my house is barely big enough to contain what it needs and I sure as heck don't need more than 2 sets of dishes, everyday and my wedding china. That's just excessive.

He had another room that was dedicated to gifts. He had a place where he pre-wrapped and stored gifts of fragrant candles and bottles of champagne/wine so that he could just pull one out when it was appropriate. I think giving generic gifts is rude and inconsiderate. And once again, I have a spare bedroom for guests not gifts. And "couture ice cubes". Are you kidding me?

Oprah and Colin kept telling us that "Love is in the Details". This really pissed me off. Details are something I rarely have time for. I'm lucky to remember my children's caps before they go off to school. If I manage to have the time to cook a meal for guests, I'm having a good day and nobody cares that I've cooked lasagna. They are just happy to be sharing food together. We've had friends over for soup! I don't love them any less just because I didn't have matching napkins and napkins rings with a beautiful centrepiece.

She then showcased a clothing range called Splendid which has t-shirts and trousers for bumming around in. The tops are $58 and the trousers are $98. Now, I don't know about you but I know I don't spend that much on my bumming around clothes. Is she insane?

Has Oprah lost touch with reality? Has she lost touch with her target audience, all of us little people who are just getting through everyday struggling with school fees and mortgage payments and insurance costs? My family are more well off than many. And the pressure to keep up with the Jones is intense. Imagine how hard it must be for so many of her viewers especially when she is a role model for so many women. Must we set such high and impossible expectations? Doe she know how unattainable her lifestyle is? And how inadequate that can make some feel? Let's show how to throw a party within the budgetary grasp of the common woman! Now, there's a show idea!

A word to Oprah: don't forget where you came from and remember most of us are still there.

And a word to Mr Cowie: get a life. I get excited when I get everyone out of the house on time and with their hair combed and teeth brushed having had a nutritious breakfast.

NOTE: The Oprah Show broadcast schedule in the UK differs significantly from the schedule in the USA. this show was originally broadcast in August in the USA. You can see the details by clicking here.

Winning the Lottery

I am not a fan of the lottery. My husband will occasionally sneak the purchase of a ticket past my watchful eye but generally I avoid the whole game. This week I am making up for my previous avoidance.

The Euro Lottery is at £88m. A guess at the current exchange rate puts the jackpot at approximately $160m. OK, so I'm willing to make an exception this week. Normally the odds of winning the Euro lottery hover somewhere around 1:75 million. Since the £88m cannot be rolled over and must be awarded this week if no one matches all the numbers the winnings will be distributed amongst the next set of matching numbers. This means the odds of winning have substantially shifted in our favour.

I approved a purchase of a £1 lottery ticket which in my husband's world translates to £30. This is what is known in financial circles as the Marc Conversion rate.

He got home. I examined the tickets. And immediately starting making a list of everything we would do with the money. So far we've only spent about £2.2 million. We could split the winnings with a lot of people and still get £2.2m.

Draw is at 10:25 pm (GMT). Stay tuned.

What do you Dream?

I wrote a post about unfulfilled dreams and felt that it was a bit unfair because I didn't get a chance to talk about all the dreams I still have. Indulge me!

My biggest dream is that my children grow up and believe I am the greatest mom. Ever. I hope we maintain a close, healthy relationship as adults. I don't kid myself into thinking we will make it through the teenage years unscathed. Two Words: Boarding School!

I dream of retiring financially secure with a solid plan for the future. This includes paying off our mortgage on both homes we own and being completely debt free. Every financial decision we make is geared towards that goal. We invest in our children's education so they will support us when we are old (just kidding!).

I dream of being married to my husband for many years to come.

I dream of spending countless hours sitting on the porch of a beach house reading, knitting or quilting watching my grandchild(ren) run around on the beach whilst my grown children wait on me hand and foot.

I dream of long sailing holidays in warm sunny tropical locations.

I dream of a world where children are not afraid, ill or illiterate.

I dream the Chicago Cubs will win the World Series.

I dream of being skinny again.

What do you dream?

Weekly Allowance

I wrote a post a while back about teaching children the value of money and how I thought this responsibility rested on the shoulders of parents. I had a lengthy discussion with my sister about this since she left me a comment which seemed to disagree with me. And I hate it when she does that!

I maintain that the value of money and how to manage it is a value passed from a parent to a child. Learning how to calculate interest on a loan is math so that sits squarely with the school.

Marc & I bought some money boxes for our children to aid our parenting goal of teaching children about money. The money boxes include separate compartments to Spend, Save & Share their money. The idea is that their weekly allowance is then divided up (at their discretion) between the 3 boxes. The money in the Spend box can be spent immediately, ie as soon as they get it or that weekend, for example. The money in the Save box can be saved up to be spent on an item that they have identified (say in a catalogue or saw in a shop) but don't have enough in the Spend box to buy immediately. The Share box is donated to charity (picked by the child - with your help) at intervals designated by the child. The children get to decide how much goes where.

The idea is that they get a weekly allowance for doing things above and beyond their normal responsibilities like brushing their teeth, taking a bath, making their bed, going to bed. These are all the types of things that they do in order to be a productive, happy member of the family. For example, I don't want to pay them to set the table because as a member of the family they must help me set and clear the table for meals.

Now, readers, I need your help. What sort of duties could a 6 and 3.5 year old do that could help them earn their weekly allowance? I'm really struggling with this. Sebastian is too young to mow the lawn. Abigail just ain't big enough to clear out the garage. We don't get enough snow for them to shovel the sidewalks. I've got to get this sorted and I don't know how to do it.....

PS I was very proud when Sebastian announced that the Share box was very important "since not every one is as lucky as I am". Now let's see if he can put his money where his mouth is!

I imagine that the discussion about worthy charities will also be interesting. Any ideas on that one?

Financial Mistake

Oh but there are so many. I don't even know where to start. I suppose it is all a matter of scale.

I have sooooo many books that I've purchased but never read.

I have so many food items, I've never eaten and either sit in my cupboards taking up space or in my fridge until they are reduced to a puddle or the smell drives me to act.

I've got several outfits which I've bought without trying on and now hang in my closet with the price tags still on them. I keep meaning to alter them or donate them or lose weight but never do any of them.

I bought a pair of roller skates at the age of 20 that I thought I just could not live without. They were expensive considering I had NO money back then. I used them 4 times!

I got suckered into buying this homeopathic kit of pills which were supposed to make child birth more bearable. Do I have stupid tattooed on my forehead?

My greatest financial mistake was probably not cashing in or moving my 401(K) from my American employer when I moved permanently to the UK. I don't actively manage it and I know it has lost value over the last few years. Mental note to self: stop making this mistake and do something about it for heavens sake, regardless of the exchange rate and penalties!

Best Money

This is going to sound like a complete cliche but it has got to be the investment I made in my education.

Getting my degree taught me more than just the stuff in the books or how to make friends on a campus of strangers or to party until dawn and dance like a maniac.

Taking all those different classes taught me what I liked and didn't liked. I learned who I wasn't and what I wanted to be and have and see and learn.

It cost me a fortune and took me ages to pay it all off but it was so worth every sacrifice I made!

OK, so if you put my education to the side, I would have to say a certain grey Calvin Klein winter coat that I bought about 8 years ago when I worked in London on Bond Street. My office was above the flagship store and I used to walk past and look longingly in the windows every day when I went to grab a bite to eat.

Autumn had arrived and I needed a coat for the imminent chill of a damp drizzly London winter. I saw the coat I wanted in the window. I coveted that coat. I dreamed of that coat. At last, I went in, tried it on, and it looked fab. I had to have the coat.

On payday I bought that coat. At the time, this coat cost me 1/4 of my monthly earnings. I felt indulgent. But I looked great!

I've still got it and still wear that dang coat!

Is Gas Expensive?

My father has always marvelled at how much we in the UK are willing to pay for a gallon of fuel. Nowadays, petrol and diesel are roughly the same price (at least in the UK). We pay £1/litre. There are ~4 litres in a gallon. That works out to £4/gallon. Given the current exchange rate that is ~$8/gallon. So stop complaining about $3!


Here is a funny little article about the price of gasoline in the USA and what you might be willing to pay (or not).

Window Closed

When my son was six months old, I returned to work (at the time this was the maximum time allowed in the UK; this has since been increased to 1 year). I would have preferred to stay at home and nuzzle with my little man, but I am 10 years older than my husband. And I am the primary wage earner. And my wee little man was weeing and pooing and spitting all over me and I needed a break. My brain, although full of love for my offspring, was turning to mush.

I returned to work as an international software consultant (without the flexibility to travel; I was still breastfeeding, you see). After 2 weeks they made me redundant. In the USA, this is call being laid off. In the USA, they probably would have fired me. They can do that a whole lot easier there than they can here.

I was devastated. I phoned my husband in a wild manic state of panic. I had a family, a mortgage, a baby and NO job. I was the primary wage earner. OK, so I hated the company I worked for previously and most of the management were completely incompetent (not Mick, if he is reading this!) and didn't really connect with any of the people who worked there (except for Helen - she's my best mate now!). I loved the work and most of our clients (excluding BA!) but I knew in my heart this wasn't the place for me.

But I had a child depending on me. I had a husband depending on me. And I had no job! I cried. I screamed. I cried. I cried. For about 2 days straight I cried. One well meaning family member, advised me that I could get a temporary position as a secretary maybe. I don't think they understand what I do for as a career.

This was a watershed moment for me. I had worked for this last company only about 4 1/2 years. I had worked at my previous job for 12 years and I had left them. On my terms. How dare they toss me aside so casually, after all I'd done for them? After all I'd sacrificed for them? Well, not any more, I vowed.

The man that is my husband today (we were together but not married then), stepped in and calmed me down when he felt I had done sufficient venting that he thought he might now avoid being physically abused if he gave me advice. This is one of the things he does best, knowing when to butt in. We calmly made a plan. This is what I do best.

We decided this was a good opportunity to explore several options. We looked at opening a franchise, starting our own business, moving abroad. This showed me all the possibilities. And then we started the research. We met with franchisers. We wrote business plans. I spoke to some head hunters. Marc looked into emigrating to Australia. I looked at running away to Fiji. We both looked at yachts.

We found a franchise that looked promising. And started the negotiation. And then the company I work for currently offered me a job. It was an offer I couldn't refuse that gave my family the security I desired. But the franchise deal was also a good opportunity. So we decided that my husband would do the franchise.

The franchise didn't work out. We didn't lose money but we didn't make much either. It never quite hit our revenue projections and we certainly never came close to buying a yacht. However, it did lead him to discover a gap in another market (Virtual IT Company for small businesses/home users) and he plunged into that business plan. It's working out. The business has its ups and downs, just my job does. My job gives us security and stability, which I need. His job gives us flexibility and a dream for the future, which the family and he needs.

When I lost my job I thought the world ended. Right now, I've got a few family members and friends who are facing this difficult journey. I know how dark that tunnel looks when you are entering it. I am on the other side. I've got the flashlight (torch) spotlight, beam.....whatever you need to help you get to the other side. Use LinkedIn. If you are not part of my professional network, you should be! I've got over 1,046 new connections since May 1. Ask for help! And there is a light.....the world is not ending....a door will open.....your shoulders can take the weight.....and all those other cliches that just don't seem to help much when you're in the throes of a crisis!

UK Cost of Living

Other than the weather, I rarely complain about living in England. I just found this on digg and thought it was so true it made me cry. Read it and weep!

I think I should consider a move back to the motherland.....then again the cost of healthcare keeps me put.