Ug, must I blog about this. And I don't want to. But my health depends upon it.
Ever since having children I've been carrying around a few extra pounds. OK, a lot of extra pounds.
I weighed about 9 st (126 lbs) before I had children. I always had a little tummy on me (genetic carb intolerance or so I'm told) but I liked my figure. I could always find something cute to wear, whatever the occasion. I always felt sexy. I wasn't afraid of the swimming pool or beach.
When I got pregnant with Sebastian, I ate for England. Whole jars of green olives would disappear during my midnight cravings. I binged on Cherry Garcia.
I had read that it was bad to diet when breast feeding and believed the lies about breast feeding ensuring my weight loss. I lost a few pounds here and there just before I got married although quite frankly, I didn't try all that hard.
Then I got pregnant with Abigail. And the weight just dropped off. I was sick for the first 4 months of the pregnancy and for almost all of it couldn't stand the smell of food cooking. I ate loads of salads and fruit. During the last trimester my appetite returned with a vengeance and I ate everything in sight. I focused my attention of bread, butter and cheese. At the same time. In vast quantities.
Post-pregnancy and in the throes of toddler mummyhood, I ensure my children are well fed. We make our own bread. I bake cookies, cakes, and pies. And eat them. I skip breakfast because I am usually running out the door in a morning frenzy with a large cup of cafe au lait in my hand. I grab a bag of crisps (potato chips) and a cheese sandwich with a diet coke for lunch nearly every day in the office. If I'm at home I have a baked potato with loads of butter and sour cream. Dinner is the square meal of meat, potato, veg. Or something similar. I never serve ready made meals but that doesn't necessarily mean what I prepare is much healthier. I eat until it is all gone because I hate being wasteful. I nibble bowls of popcorn with butter after the children have gone to bed nearly every night. Or chips & dips. Or cheese & crackers. I don't drink enough water.
Abigail is 3.5 years old and I'm nearly the heaviest I've ever been. I say nearly because 2 years ago I decide I needed to get my act together. I trained for an 8k run and watched my diet and lost 3 st (42 lbs). I ran the race and immediately went back to my old ways. My increased metabolism (from the running) meant that I kept it off for a while. But I found myself with the same old clothing dilemmas went I went to buy my dresses for the Summer Ball and Ascot Ladies Day. Even though I loved my dress, I would have liked it better on me if I had been 60 lbs lighter. I put myself on the scale and I'm just under what I weighed when I started training for my run.
My sister recently blogged about her health check. She is going to go carb free. Despite my protests that death is inevitable (which obviously she took on board), she is right that we don't have to die of obesity related disease. And I want to run with my children. And I want to feel sexy again. and I want to buy groovy hip clothing like I used to.
There's woman in my office who works for me who has lost 5 st (70 lbs) since January. She looks fabulous. Everyday she sits down next to me and I marvel at her ever shrinking figure and her ever expanding confidence.
So a few days ago, privately I started making some changes. In my food choices. In my activity level. In my attitude.
Now, I need to go public 'cause I'm gonna need a lot of support! I've got some weight targets and I want to see a change in my energy levels. Now some of you are frightened of what I might be like if I had more energy. Trust me, this will be a good thing! I'll try not to bore you with my constant struggle and if I seem a bit grumpy, please accept my apologies in advance. I'm aiming to run that 8k race again in September. I'll keep you posted!