Stereotypes

Before I lived abroad I would have fought passionately against nationalistic stereotypes. Having travelled and lived all over the world means I get to form some fact based opinions about what I have seen. OK, they are still my opinions but they are based on extensive observations.

1. The British drink far more than they should, especially when on holiday. Heck they drink far more than anyone else put together.

2. The Americans are the loudest and most uninformed and insensitive about the local culture. They wear white trainers (tennis shoes) everywhere they go.

3. The Germans really need to give up the sun beds. The fake tans are not attractive. And the whole notion of getting up insanely early in the morning to reserve a deck chair next to the pool for the entire day whether they use it or not really pisses me off. And no one looks good in mustard coloured suits.

4. The French are always over dressed. Or maybe I'm just always under dressed. I'm just jealous because their women always look so dang sexy and elegant. Unless they are under the age of 20 in which case they are woefully under dressed for doing anything other than taking out the rubbish. Where do those youngsters get all those scarves?

5. What do the Japanese do with all those photographs and why must they travel in large groups of at least 50? And why stop in the middle of the street to take photographs of STOP signs?

6. The Polish are no longer tourists in England.

7. Mexicans rarely travel to Europe although there were a busload of them on our plane when we flew to America. They were carrying loads of bags from Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Dolce and Gabana, Chanel and assorted status designers. Business south of the border must be good.

8. The Italians are rude and arrogant with an undeserved air of superiority. The men generally frighten men as I am convinced they have xray vision and can see through my clothing. The women wear the biggest sunglasses you have ever seen in your life. They look like bugs, with very long dark silky hair. No kidding.

9. The Spanish never come to England. Why would they? They have sun. We don't. I'm not sure when they eat when travelling as most civilised restaurants close by 10 pm which is when the Spanish typically eat dinner. They must be the only culture to lose weight on holiday.

10. Canadians always end their statements like a question. I can only conclude they are incredibly insecure. They hate people thinking they are Americans and can become rather belligerent when innocently mistaken as one.

I'm sure more will occur to me but as we are nearing the end of tourist season in Windsor and the end of the holiday season I hope to have a break from them for a while.