Crackers

Here in the UK they have this quaint little tradition of Christmas crackers at the dinner table. These are not the crackers you eat with cheese. They call those biscuits. (Don't ask!)

Before you start eating dinner you pull open your cracker with your neighbour. They open with a bang (pop from a wee bit of explosive).

Inside you find a brightly coloured paper hat, a little plastic toy (unless you buy very expensive crackers), and a very corny joke.

Everyone puts on the hat for at least 1 minute. Some forget they put it on and wear it for the entire meal (Marc). I hate all the waste but my children love them and I've been warned that it just ain't Christmas without the crackers.

I've collected this year's jokes.

Why can't you play cards in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs.

What lives at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.

What do you call a musical fish?
A piano-tuna.

What are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.

What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with sore feet.

What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet.

And my personal favourite......drum roll please......

Where are the Andes?
At the end of you armies.