Tuesday 16 October 2007


I read numerous blogs written by mums: stay at home mums, working mums, funny mums and frustrated mums.

It makes me fell less alone. It reminds me that we're all dealing with similar struggles. It reminds me that we all make compromises. It reminds me that someone always has it worse off than me. It reminds me that some are luckier than me. It never fails to make me laugh. Out loud. Belly rolling. It reminds me that we all love our children.

I blogged about my struggle to balance career and work. I just want to make one thing clear: I want to work. I like working. I would go absolutely insane if I didn't work.

I'm happy for everyone out there who have other arrangements as long as they are happy with those arrangements. But I don't want you thinking for one single minute that I've had this choice made for me due to financial circumstances or otherwise. I weighed up the options. I played out the scenarios. I made my choice.

I know some stay at home mums who are regretting their decision to take a break in their careers cause it ain't something you get back easily. Even my 1 year off for Abigail's first year nearly ended my career with my current company. And the 6 months I took off to have Sebastian lost me my job despite protection from the law.

No, I work because I enjoy my career. Because working makes me a better person which in turn makes me a better mother.

My children are happy. They are confident. They are socially successful.

My working hasn't done them a dang bit of harm.

I know numerous women who have made the same choice. They feel judged by stay at home mums. They feel judged by men whose wives stay at home.

Stop! We each do what works for us.

And to all of you stay at home dads working to undo the gender stereotypes of generations:


Carrie Sargent said...

I LOVE this post. Absolutely love it. I can't stand the perceived "strife" between at home moms and working moms. I stay home. I, too, weighed the options and made my choice. Sometimes it was the right choice and sometimes I could work at McDonald's being a cashier just to get out of the house. (Not that there's anything wrong with that career...) But I can never understand why people can't just respect each other's decisions and be happy for each other. Everyone has to do what's best for them and for their families and leave other people alone! Great post.

Anonymous said...

I work FT and feel I am in many ways a better wife/mom for doing so, but sometimes I do wish I could be a stay at home mom. -Sugar

Anonymous said...

Oh I know this! My best girlfriend is a SAHM mom and I would lose my mind if I didn't work. I like to work, in fact I love it! She respects that and I respect what she does. Different things for different people.